Damon Durand's Dating Application

This is version 1.0 of the dating application. Please fill out as completely as possible. Do not use a #2 pencil on the multiple choice questions, as you're likely to destroy your monitor. There is no time limit on this test, but be aware that you will be graded on the amount of time it takes you to complete the application. You will be given an opportunity to comment on the application before you submit it. Good luck!

Name?

Email address?

Birthdate? (mm/dd/yyyy)

Gender? Female

Birthplace/Hometown?

Current Address: 1234 Any Street Anytown, AS 00000

Occupation?

Years at current job?

Are you currently going to school?
Yes
No

If yes, name of school:

Level of school completed?
Kindergarten
Elementary
Junior High
High School
High School Equivalency (GED)
Some College
Associate/2 Year Degree
Bachelors Degree
Masters Degree
Doctorate
Truck Driving School
Sally Struther's Learn At Home
McUniversity

Field of study:

1. How many states are there in the United States of America?
   • Did you include Puerto Rico?
     Yes
     No
     Remind me to ask you why you're even asking this question!
     
   • Did you include Cuba?
     Yes
     No
     OK, now you're scaring me!
     
   • Did you include Botswana?
     Yes
     No
     While it doesn't belong, it is an interesting place!
     


2. Is "funner" a word?
   Yes    If yes, please use it in a sentence:
   No
   


3. Why do you want to apply?
   I find you very attractive
   You seem interesting
   You're funny, even though looks aren't everything
   I've evaluated many possibilities and you seem to have the best genetic makeup
   I've heard you're good in the sack
   I'm a masochist
   Other, please explain:
   


4. What I find most attractive is:
   Your HOT body
   Your BIG brain
   Your BIG, um, shoes!
   Your perpetual state of happiness and optimism
   Your self-confidence
   Your sense of humor
   Your tongue
   Your personal hygiene
   Nothing, really, just looking for someone I can use and then throw away like used dishwater
   Other, please explain:
   


5. How soon would you like to go out?
   Today
   Tonight
   Tomorrow
   This weekend, I can't go out on schoolnights
   How 'bout we just stay in *wink*
   When it works with MY schedule
   Never, how's that suit ya?
   Other, please explain:
   


6. How intelligent are you?
   I can breathe
   I voted for Nader
   I'm average
   I'm above average for my grade level
   I'm a genius
   I'm fluent in Esperanto AND Latin
   I can beat you at Trivial Pursuit
   I can beat you up
   I've got big boobs
   Other, please explain:
   


7. How emotionally healthy are you?
   I just want to be loved
   I'm emotionally stable
   The voices tell me I'm just fine
   I stopped wetting my bed a few months ago
   I'm looney
   The medication is working
   It isn't paranoia if they really are out to get you!
   I've got big boobs
   Other, please explain:
   


8. How do you rate your physical appearance?
   I'm ugly
   I'm average
   I'm cute
   I'm hot
   I'm a BBW
   I'll turn you to stone when you look into my eyes
   Beyond your reach
   I've got big boobs
   Other, please explain:
   


9. What should we do on our first date?
   Lunch
   Dinner
   Breakfast (well, that's really towards the end of our first date)
   Movie
   Shopping
   Rent movies
   Rent a room
   People-watch at the airport, the mall, county jail
   Concert
   Concerto, I'm cultured!
   Get drunk
   As if I'd go out with you after reading the preceding list of ideas
   Other, please explain:
   


10. What's your favorite cuisine?
    American (burgers, fries and a coke)
    Italian
    Mexican/Southwestern
    Steak & Chops
    Asian
    Vegan
    Chick-fil-a
    Krispy Kremes
    Seafood
    Jarrod's my hero
    ABC Gum
    Anywhere I can drink
    Other, please explain:
    

What led you to this application?
Google
Yahoo
Friend
You did, silly!
Stumbled upon it by accident
Avoiding real work
I was bored
I was forced against my will by a bunch of ninjas
I was forced against my will by a bunch of ninjas trained in the "Hamster Style" of Kung-Fu

Congratulations! You've completed the application. Feel free to include any additional comments below and click the button to submit your application to me for review!