A rare diversion today…for someone very special.
Today, 32 years ago, an old friend (and lover) of mine was brought into this world.
She and I no longer talk, but I wanted to acknowledge her with some kind of public tribute today - her birthday.
I was truly blessed to have shared the portions of my life with her I did. She was always there for me, loved me with everything she had. She was patient. She was kind. She was loyal. She was honest.
After years knowing each other, I forced her away from me last year. And although I’m incredibly sorry for the circumstances which led to that horrible decision, I realize that even in her absence she has continued to teach me things about myself I would have never encountered on my own. I am a better person today for knowing her. I am more self-aware, I am more careful with other people’s feelings and I am taking better care of myself. I’ve finally broke the self-destructive cycle I had been following through life. All of which I was brave enough to come to terms with because of her.
Having her in my life was a wonderful gift - the old adage is true, “You don’t realize what you have until it is gone.” On this, her birthday, I can only hope that she receives as much back from life as she lovingly gave me. My only gift is this acknowledgement, which I record here both as a reminder and message in the hope that sometime in the future she may read it - I find that my respect for her has only grown over time, even as we’ve gone on to lead our separate lives.
I consider myself lucky that we found each other - sad that we lost each other.