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Retro-Encabulator

I can’t wait to get one of these…I bet it will increase the battery life of my iPod by 200%, increase my gas mileage by 300% and wash all my dishes for me in half the time!

Tell me about the Retro-Encabulator

(Courtesy of eBaum’s World)

OK, so this may only be funny to engineers, but Jason and I spent almost an hour the other day laughing hysterically. It is now the new “quotable” at work.

I guess this is an old engineer’s joke, but it is the first I’ve heard of it. Here’s a poorly scanned copy in PDF of a General Electric data sheet which refers to the “Turbo-Encabulator”. According to this site, the spoof was originally published in the Institution’s Students’ Quarterly Journal vol 15 no. 58 p. 22 in December 1944.

By the way, here’s the text of what the guy is saying in the video:

Here at Rockwell Automation’s world headquarters, research has been proceeding to develop a line of automation products that establishes new standards for quality, technological leadership and operating excellence. With customer success as our primary focus, work has been proceeding on the crudely conceived idea of an instrument that would not only provide inverse reactive current, for use in unilateral phase detractors, but would also be capable of automatically synchronizing cardinal grammeters.

Such an instrument comprised of Dodge gears and bearings, Reliance Electric motors, Allen-Bradley controls, and all monitored by Rockwell Software is: Rockwell Automation’s ‘Retro-Encabulator’. Now, basically the only new principle involved is that instead of power being generated by the relative motion of conductors and fluxes, it’s produced by the modial interaction of magneto-reluctance and capacitive diractance.

The original machine had a base-plate of pre-fabulated amulite, surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the two spurving bearings were in a direct line with the panametric fan. The lineup consisted simply of six hydrocoptic marzelvanes, so fitted to the ambifacient lunar wane shaft that side fumbling was effectively prevented. The main winding was of the normal lotus-o-deltoid type placed in panendermic semi-boloid slots of the stator, every seventh conductor being connected by a non-reversible tremie pipe to the differential girdlespring on the ‘up’ end of the grammeters.

Moreover, whenever fluorescence score motion is required, it may also be employed in conjunction with a drawn reciprocation dingle arm, to reduce sinusoidal depleneration. The ‘Retro-Encabulator’ has now reached a high level of development, and it’s being successfully used in the operation of milford-trenions.

It’s available soon; wherever Rockwell Automation products are sold.

Comments (2)

Jason h:

dis = HA HA Funny

Curt:

Check this out!

A bunch of HAM radio operators discuss there issues with sinusoidal depleneration!

http://www.eham.net/forums/Elmers/71036

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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on August 4, 2004 11:37 PM in Bookmarks and Humor and Work.

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